A day in the life of...

Wasn't there a pilot pen called explorer, many moons back? Being the stationery aficionado (read: hoarder) that i am, it is little wonder that i can remember the inane details in life. Life in the stationery department, where i spent many a afternoons at and many a dollars to match.

Today i was an explorer. Haven't been trotting around unknown territory for a while now and it just felt so right, somehow. The getting lost, the asking strangers for directions, the chancing upon great eats, and finally, the reaching the elusive destination. And of course, having the right companion just makes the whole experience wonderful.

Tiong Bahru will always have a special place in my heart. For reasons both sentimental and practical (good food galore!). Many gems have been uncovered, with so much more to stumble upon and be delightfully (or frightfully)surprised.

Galicier has really upped it's hip quotient, with fancy-pants offerings amidts its traditional sweets. Imagine, macarons in a neigbourhood bakery! And green tea at that, how could i resist? It was an eclectic range of goodies in my stash, this trip. My companion, C, was absolutely fascinated too, which made me more excited, having shared this gem of a place with a fellow baked treats fan. I have to go back soon to check out more goodies.

Le Bon Marche was worth the constant craving and not forgetting, the effort in finding the place. A scary ordeal, having to keep a look out for crazy motorists, while navigating through dark alleys and way-laying non-english-speaking strangers who couldn't direct us. Guan Chuan street was almost a mystery. But, gave up we didn't and rewarded, we were! The food was great, the service was impeccable (also a whiz at selling their dishes, i must say) and the ambience was well, quiet and unpretentious. Just the sort of respite needed, after a hard day's work.

After a night like this, it deserves to be documented in this dusty ol' abandoned page. Pictures would work like magic, but a pity there aren't any.

Till next time...

So the deal has been sealed. A new job is in store for me in about a month's time. I'm hardly excited at this prospect nor delighted for having quit my current disaster of a job today, which is disturbing. It does tear me up inside for leaving behind great colleagues (well, most at least) and of cos, the little perks that come with the job. But, all good things must come to an end and the end just came sooner than expected.

As of now, I am still shaking of the effects of being sick and tired (literally). The next few weeks will be grueling, no doubt. I wonder what awaits me and if i had made the right decision. I really should start preparing for this new appointment, knowing that much more is expected of me. Picking up the papers is still hard to do. Instead, all I can think about is the yummy bakery that is pretty close by my new office.

I have to make plans for the short break that I have, before i start at this new place.

Pancakes for breakfast is good. I should make it a regular treat.

I am scheduled for a job interview this morning which i have no confidence in acing. Please ask me questions that i have answers to.

Haven't written in ages and can only manage a few sentences now. How sad.

At risk of sounding like yet another ranting session, this entry promises to try to do all that and beyond.

You see, some people really irk me and some jobs are just the saddest things on earth. And the combination of both can really torment the weary soul. I almost leapt for joy when I finally switched jobs but somehow knowing that the good feeling wouldn't last. I'm sure I could make a list of how this job is better then the last but with the current frustrations, make that 2 very long lists.

My plan to make an impression has failed tremendously and not only have I ruffled feathers, make a mess of matters and a slew of others, I am now made to feel incompetent. If it was a bottleneck that I created, I would gladly take the blame. But...being caught in the middle is most definitely not an envious position. Why oh why...why me?

The more I bite the bullet, the more I wonder. No matter how hard I think I work or the small improvements I try to introduce, I will never be taken seriously during meetings or be promoted or even known in the company. Someone else will always have a bigger voice, better ideas or in other words, downright smart-alecky. Now that, I can really do without. So, get off my back already Miss XXXXX!

My favourite time of the year has come and I am looking forward to winding down the year. It has not been a particularly good one so I wish with all my might that next year will be good. Meantime, I am soaking up the x'mas spirit and enjoying the carols. Now all I need is a nice warm cup of cocoa by the fireplace...

since i last lamented about anything. And it seems like i have forgotten how to write for leisure.

Just 5 weeks ago, I was over the moon at leaving my last stinking job. It seemed like the best thing that could even happen in this particularly jinxed year. But, NO. I don't even know where to begin. Plus, I have been eating way too much of late, which is showing up on the scales. Not happy about that either! But that is totally my own fault. :(

In just 5 weeks, I have already managed to ruffle some feathers and am even on the brink of turning nasty. I had to restrain myself from spewing (too much) sarcasm over the telephone line, when it hit me that I was being ME. The frustrated me of course, not the usually tolerant door-mat of a colleague/subordinate/corporate-slave. I can't decide which is worse. I wish for the day that people will stop talking down to me and give me some damn credit! The phrase, "do you understand or not" has been thrown in my face so many times, I am just about ready to erupt.

In the past 5 weeks however, I have made some pleasant little discoveries. Like the cook book section at Bishan Library, which is quite a gem and the quaint little cafe along eng hoon street. Nice, very nice.

In 5 weeks time, it will be December. My favourite time of the year. The only time when i take leave to do absolutely nothing.

2007, what a year.

I finally took the plunge and did what I think I had to do. All those times where I was furiously searching for new avenues, it felt like it was the only thing I knew. And if I didn't keep going at it, I may very well remain in the rut for as long as I allow it.

The irony of it all, is me really. Now that I have decided to resign (not myself to fate but from my job), I am neither feeling relieved nor elated. Instead, all I feel is guilt and anxiety, from wondering if I will even finish handing over my duties and from leaving a cosy office environment and the ties which I have taken pains to forged. So, am I really doing the right thing by throwing that all away?

So now, as I bid my dear colleagues goodbye next month, I can only hope that they remember me for the good I have done.

It is now one of those nights where i take sudden interest in reading past entries and feeling the gamut of emotions all over again. I have now realised that people can remain where they are, in their recurrent disllusioned state of mind and ill feelings of society. Or could this just be happening to me?

Tonight, i was at yet another social event which transported me back to my memories of prom night. By sheer coincidence, i was right back at the same venue and was there because i had to. The people i was sitting with are ones which i have known for a while now, but never really got to know them proper. Then came phototaking time, where people would clamour for my attention, just so i could help snap pictures of them. And hardly was i the subject of these pictures, unless by close proximity or by mock whinging. Sigh. I don't think i can even get past this feeling of despair and the fact that i will never be at ease with people.

On a positive note however, i have started to (really) appreciate being home early from work and being able to enjoy the wondrousness of a warm dinner, tv and a good book. I could not be more relaxed. My only wish is that i have the chance.

The time now is 1.30am and i am absolutely exhausted. Good night.

It is now one of those nights where i take sudden interest in reading past entries and feeling the gamut of emotions all over again. I have now realised that people can remain where they are, in their recurrent dillusioned state of mind and ill feelings of society. Or could this just be happening to me?

Tonight, i was at yet another social event which transported me back to my memories of prom night. By sheer coincidence, i was right back at the same venue and was there because i had to. The people i was sitting with are ones which i have known for a while now, but never really got to know them proper. Then came phototaking time, where people would clamour for my attention, just so i could help snap pictures of them. And hardly was i the subject of these pictures, unless by close proximity or by mock whinging. Sigh. I don't think i can even get past this feeling of dispair and the fact that i will never be at ease with people.

On a positive note however, i have started to (really) appreciate being home early from work and being able to enjoy the wondrousness of a warm dinner, tv and a good book. I could not be more relaxed. My only wish is that i have the chance.

The time now is 1.30am and i am absolutely exhausted. Good nite.

I haven't quite mastered the art of keeping to new years' resolutions, so to save the dissapoint, there isn't any for this year. I did have hopes of starting the year right though, but found myself repeating old die-hard habits, like gossiping in the office pantry. Later in the evening, i got caught in an ugly weather of heavy rain and slushy roads to trudge through. Perhaps that was my punishment, for airing my grouses about people around me.

So i met a couple of former classmates today, and the topics of discussion just keeps getting more grown-up each time. The last time was of jobs and whatever on-goings. This time was about marriage, kids and all that jazz. Sheesh, was i in the wrong crowd or am i just not ready to grow up. But people are moving along just fine, and i ought to be more then happy to be privy to their lives.

I don't know how i am going to get through work, for the thought of it alone is quite scary. But i'll try to keep happy thoughts...and i'll get by, i'm sure.

i am starting to be convinced that i am a horrible person. All the ranting, cursing and swearing doesn't make it any better. Now i feel worse then ever, for ever allowing myself to speak so vehemently of people who in the first place, don't matter to me. And again, i blame this job for bringing upon me, a host of undesirable traits amongst other agonies. But i blame myself the most, for allowing myself to be consumed by the situation.